dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
