Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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