I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
