O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
