so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
