I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
why is half of my head shaved?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
