Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
