And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
pop tarts are not kleenex
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
