i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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