youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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