Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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