my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
