I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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