i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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