Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
