just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
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