good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
