singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
My ATM looks so different sober.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
