Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
