And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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