Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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