I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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