I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
