someone threw a dead crab at me
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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