So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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