I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
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