I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
its liver damage thursday
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
