We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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