We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Who died my cat blue again?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
