I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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