y did u give ur computer a hand job?
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
