There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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