question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
