I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to calm my uterus...
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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