then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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