do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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