Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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