I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
