I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
