Swine flu. Run for my life!
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
