ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize