In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
