brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
