it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Randomize
