I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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