My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize