Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
