I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
