your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
