you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
