Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
