I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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