no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
