She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
