whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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