I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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