toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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