Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
