you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
