White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
he shaved USA in his pubs
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
