I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
